The story of any lebanese idiot

Although I haven’t lived in Beirut most of my adult life, nor do I speak the language, I have met and observed the reactions of the many people I’ve met from different ethnicities and backgrounds throughout my short life when I mentioned where I come from. And being the Lebanese Idiot that I am, I would sometimes hide the truth. I would deny that I am; in fact, Lebanese or that I have anything to do with my own home country.

It’s so easy to judge a person based on their name/ color/ religion/ home address/ ethnicity these days only because of the actions of a few assholes. I just preferred to avoid the conversation all together. It is so much easier to just say “I’m Armenian” or have some fun and say that I’m Irish or Swedish to the people who I know I will never speak to again (I’m talking to you, nosy salesmen).

I would therefore like to shed some light on this topic on behalf of all socially retarded caught-up-in-the-middle Lebanese idiots out there.

Let me start off by listing by order why being Lebanese has it’s positives:

  1. falafelLebanese_Falafel_Chickpea_Recipe

2. lentil saladlebanese-lentil-salad-recipe-kalynskitchen

3. hummuspicf7HXuL4. wara2 3enabstuffed-grape-leaves5. Tabboulehtabbouleh

 

If that’s not enough to make us look amazingly awesome, I’ll gladly give you more reasons.

We are the sad little tiny beat up country squeezed between Israel and Syria and we are constantly in trouble. Beirut did get destroyed and rebuilt 7 times and we never know when the next bomb is going to hit us. But please be my guest and try to find a country where all the citizens are harmonically fucked up and happy about it, where “khayye” and “3amo” (respectively mean “brother” and “uncle”) are commonly said to taxi drivers and your local mini market’s cashier, and where you always have a family friend/ neighbor to stuff your face with food and make you feel at home on your down days.

There are two Lebanons.

This one:

 

And this one:

 

So next time you meet one of us, be careful of which Lebanon you think of before you start conversating. Some of us do make Beirut look bad (I’m talking to you sleezy men with too much gel in your hair and grumpy old racist women) but the rest of us need to stand up for ourselves and be proud of where we come from. I am still constantly reminding myself that I should not be ashamed of my country because I grew up in one of the most diverse and beautiful places in the world. I’m a proud Lebanese Idiot from a small, fucked up country. Nice to meet you!

 

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